Marriage Advice for our Children | Pearls of Promise

Marriage Advice for our Children

We’re just over two weeks and counting until my son Kyle’s wedding and as I shop for clothes for the big day and the rehearsal dinner, it’s becoming real. I’m also realizing how fast the pages of life fly by.

Wasn’t it just yesterday that Kyle looked so cute in his sandbox that I had to snap a photo?

Then there were those birthday parties that we always tried to make extra special.

And the day he wowed us at his piano recital. His teacher thought he should play in Carnegie Hall. (Kyle’s piano playing career ended at age ten.)

Now he is a man, preparing to begin his own family life with a girl we love, Bailey, and as I think about the advice I’d like to give them, this is what comes to mind.

  1. Most important—Build your marriage on the rock, Jesus Christ. Jeff and I did not start with Jesus as our foundation, but eventually we rededicated our lives to him and it made a huge difference in our married life. We now answer to a higher authority and we realized when we said “I do” we entered into a covenant with God. Covenant relationships are permanent, but too many people exit a marriage during difficult times, rather than pray and do the work necessary to transition out of problems. These problems are working on something in us as well, and with Jesus as your foundation, no storm can destroy your union.
  2. You must forgive and give each other unconditional love. It’s guaranteed that your spouse will disappoint you and you will disappoint your spouse. Humans are imperfect and will make mistakes, however the Bible says “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). I am a communicator, so I have rarely let twenty-four hours pass before a conflict is resolved. We have a “discussion” and I present my feelings. He shares his and we try to find a resolution. We generally meet halfway on an issue.
  3. Discover each other’s love language. The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman is still as current today as it was when it was first written in 1992.  It’s interesting the both my husband’s and my love language is “Words of Affirmation.” We like compliments and encouragement! Knowing that, we actually have to work harder at encouraging each other because we like to receive those positive words ourselves. Jeff and I also recently shared our results from a “Strengthfinders” test and we each had different strengths, but it gave us insight into how we tick. It also made us realize how much his strengths help me in my weaknesses, and vice versa. God knew what He was doing when He put us together!
  4. Be thankful for each other. As we have now been married almost 33 years, I think about my mom who lost my dad about a year after they were married. I am thankful God has given us this much time together, and that I did not have to endure what my mother went through. I am grateful for the fun trips we’ve taken (I love adventures!), the movies we have watched, the golf we’ve played, and the spiritual conversations we now share. Jeff is a good listener and problem solver, so I am thankful that he is patient when I need to vent.

Growing up fatherless with a mom who struggled, it has been great to have someone to do life with. I find that when Jeff travels, I miss having him around the house, even if he’s upstairs and I’m putzing around downstairs. I find it interesting that Jesus’s first miracle was at a wedding, when he turned the water into wine. If you’ll let Him be the central focus of your marriage, He will perform miracle after miracle in your lives as well, and the latter years will be sweeter than the first.

Congratulations, Kyle and Bailey. I love you both very much.

Categories: Devotion of the Week

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