One Thing that Can Kill a Friendship

creative writing

“Do I have to write about it? It’s a painful topic for me.”

I was having an argument with the Holy Spirit about today’s blog post. The Lord wanted me to cover a subject that is prevalent among women. It’s broken up many friendships. It’s provoked hateful words. It has the potential to eat you up inside.

Jealousy.

I have many shortcomings, but jealousy of other women has not been at the top; however, I’ve been the object of jealousy more times than I want to remember.

And it hurts.

friendsCartoon

It generally leads to the breakup of a friendship because the person can’t stand to be around you anymore. It can result in a tongue-lashing or passive aggressive behavior because the “friend” doesn’t want to see you succeed.

David Playing the Lyre as He Watches His Sheep I Samuel 16:11

Faithful servant David knew about jealousy. He had a wonderful relationship with his boss, King Saul, but it changed once David scored repeated military victories. Saul overheard his subjects singing, “Saul has slain his thousands, and David his tens of thousands.” That provoked anger in King Saul. The jealousy started to boil up inside of him. He said to himself, They have credited David with tens of thousands but me with only thousands. (1 Samuel 18:7)

In our terms it could be:

She bought a bigger house. I wonder where she got the money?

Wow. Everyone likes her. Why don’t I have as many friends?

Why does she seem to get all the best opportunities and I don’t?

david-and-saul-in-cave

David went from friend to foe.

Comforter to agitator.

When Saul’s jealousy turned to rage he wanted David dead. The future King David became a man on the run for many years.

Are you the jealous one or are you a victim of jealousy?

women dispute

If you’re the victim, you first have to ask yourself, “Am I provoking this jealousy?” Do you need a dose of humility because you talk about yourself too much? Or is it like David’s situation where other people are exalting you in front of the jealous friend. If that’s the case, it is not your problem.

heart in hands

You must love the person who is envious of you and pray for them, but while you shouldn’t brag, you also shouldn’t be someone you are not. A friend of mine recently observed that I was “dummying down” and told me not do that. I am sheepish about provoking jealousy so I go the opposite direction and suppress my personality at times.

Oftentimes you have to let go of the jealous person. Once they show their true feelings toward you, it will only get worse unless they seek God’s help. It may be best to walk away from an intimate friendship because you want a friend who desires the best for you. Perhaps God is using this situation to move you in a different direction.

If you are the one feeling jealousy, you must ask yourself why?

Repent of these feelings and pray that you’ll be content in your own circumstances and not desire what someone else has.

Trust where God has you at this time.

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Ask the Lord to restore your relationship with the person you are jealous of and to help you love them like you did in the beginning.

When the Apostles performed many signs and wonders among the people, Scripture says the Sadducees were “filled with jealousy” (Acts 5:17). So how did the Sadducees act out their jealousy? They arrested the apostles and put them in jail. However, during the night an angel of the Lord broke them out and the apostles went back to sharing the Good News.

freedom

God can also free you from your jealousy or from being the victim of jealousy. Seek his guidance. Ask him to help you overcome. Pray for clear direction about how to proceed in a relationship that has taken a jealous turn.

Jealousy kills. It is not of God.

“Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming but who can stand before jealousy?” (Proverbs 27:4).

 

 

Categories: Devotion of the Week

2 comments

  • Laura Porter

    Morning,
    Great needed topic and loved how you shared! And if both parties allow God to heal this challenge it will teach and be a great blessing to both people.
    Thank you and God bless

  • Margie Harris

    This was very insightful but often times the person that is jealous has a deeper issue that is not dealt with and part of it is the pride that is left unattended then turns into the jealousy and rather lash out. I have a long time frien (or so I thought) I called her husband for us to plan a surprise party for her.. she checked his cell phone and she was furious… he apologized but she never did! They had the party …. and she always gives this fake “I love you” like everything’s cool! These christians that call themselves christians and don’t want to deal with their issues just like king Saul!

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