On Wednesday night, we had a scare that I’ve had a hard time shaking. My husband Jeff came home from work a little under the weather but it was our tennis night with our friend Richard so he was trying to rally. Jeff thought it was just food poisoning though and after purging, he felt a lot better and thought he could play. I didn’t think it was wise but he said he insisted that he felt fine, so we proceeded to play.
However, after a few games, Jeff began to feel bad again and had to sit down. He told Richard and me to go ahead and hit without him, but as we walked onto the court, we heard this snoring sound coming from Jeff. At first I thought he was joking, acting like he was bored with us but we immediately realized that he had passed out. His eyes were rolled back and there were other things going on, that I will not share. Needless to say, it was a scary scene! We brought Jeff upright and then I hurriedly called 9-1-1. I realized I do not react well under pressure because I was unable to tell EMS exactly where we! Fortunately, Jeff came to within a couple of minutes and said he was fine. He insisted that I hang up with EMS and decided this was a case of extreme dehydration.
During those two minutes Jeff was unconscious, a flood of my love for him filled my soul. Any disagreement or division in our marriage evaporated as it was my heart that he live through this. I truly thought I might be losing him! I realized how deep my love for him is and couldn’t imagine life without him.
While Jeff rested that night, I was reading Francis Chan’s book Crazy Love and the chapter I was reading was all about God’s love for us. He spoke about the love he feels for his daughter when she greets him after work every day. He says it opened his eyes to how much God desires and loves us. “Through this experience, I came to understand that my desire for my children is only a faint echo of God’s great love for me and for every person He made. I am just an earthly, sinful father, and I love my kids so much it hurts. How could I not trust a heavenly, perfect Father who loves me infinitely more than I will ever love my kids?”
As I reflected on Francis Chan’s words, I realized that the outpouring of love I felt for my husband that night was also just a fraction of the love God feels for us and I began to cry. Why is it that I cannot respond to this kind of love in the way I should? Why is it that I don’t have that outpouring of love for God like I did for my husband that night? He loves me despite my sinfulness and imperfections. In Matthew 22:26-30, Jesus is asked to name the greatest commandment and he replies, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” It is my prayer that the Lord shows us all how that looks and that we will be able to respond with an all out, heartfelt response to the love of God for us, his children.