Did Jesus Have Favorites?

Did Jesus have a favorite disciple? One he loved more than the rest?

In the Bible John has been described as “the disciple whom Jesus loved” and quite frankly, that’s bothered me over the years.

Doesn’t Jesus love us all equally? Aren’t we supposed to love our neighbor as much as we love ourselves?

Showing favoritism didn’t fit Jesus’ teaching.

But over the weekend, as I prepared to teach our Sunday school class about the love of God, I had an aha moment.

In John 21, Jesus teaches Peter about the difference between “agape” love and “phileo” love in this passage:

“Jesus said to Simon Peter, ‘Simon son of John, do you love (agapeo) me more than these?

‘Yes, Lord,” he said, ‘you know that I love (phileo) you.’

Jesus said, ‘Feed my lambs.’

Again Jesus said, ‘Simon son of John, do you love (agapeo) me?’

He answered, ‘Yes, Lord, you know that I love (phileo) you.’

Jesus said, ‘Take care of my sheep.’

The third time he said to him, Simon son of John, do you love (agapeo) me?’

Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, ‘Do you love (agapeo) me?’ He said, ‘Lord, you know all things, you know that I love (phileo) you.’

Agape love is a love of divine origin.

It is sacrificial.

It is unconditional.

It is endless.

It is the kind of love Jesus wanted Peter to have for him and for others. It is much bigger than a phileo kind of brotherly love.

I don’t think Peter got it until he turned and saw the disciple “whom Jesus loved” following them. (John 21:20) The Greek word for love here is “agapao.”

When Peter saw John he flashed back to the last supper when John leaned back against Jesus. We don’t know much about John’s personality but after reading this, I wonder if he was one of those ELR guys (Extra Love Required), so much so that Peter might have had a tinge of jealousy when John landed the seat of honor next to Jesus at the special Passover meal.

Peter may have been thinking, “I am the one who jumped out of the boat and walked on the water with you, Jesus!”

“I recognized you as Messiah before anyone else!” “Why is Jesus cozying up to John and not me?”

And then it hit him.

Maybe John needed to know he was loved more than the rest. Maybe he wasn’t the most popular, the most outgoing or the friendliest.

He needed Jesus’ sacrificial, unconditional and endless love. His agape love.

Jesus is asking us all, “Do you agapao me?” “Do you agapao my people?”

Jesus didn’t have favorites.

He simply loved all, even the unloveable.

The blind.

The unclean.

The hated.

The sinful.

And that’s what he calls us to do.

Who in your world needs ELR?

Who needs Jesus’ agape love? If we don’t love them, who will?