“All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.”
(Matthew 5:37, NIV)
A physical boundary is a defining line that marks the end of a property and the beginning of another. A personal boundary is that which separates one individual from another. It also helps to distinguish what you have authority over and what you don’t. Boundaries help us take responsibility for our own life choices which manifests or bears fruit to one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit-self-control. Personal boundaries can also eradicate our selfish inclination to manipulate or control others and help protect us from those who want to control us or who lack self-control. A person with clear and healthy boundaries effectively communicates with others about what is permissible and what is not, as it pertains to them. Many of us grew up learning that saying “no” isn’t polite, but the Bible tells us in Mathew 5:37, for our “yes” to be simply “yes,” and our “no” a “no.” Anything else may be considered deceitful, or not truthful.
“Above all, my brothers and sisters, do not swear—not by heaven or by earth or by anything else. All you need to say is a simple “Yes” or “No.” Otherwise you will be condemned” (James 5:12, NIV).
We are built for relationship, to be secure that we are loved. When God created the perfect universe, He said it was not “good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). He was talking about being in relationship with other people. A relationship is an attachment to a person; someone you bond with, trust, and go to for support. Our first relationship is with our mother or father. Unfortunately, in this broken world, an infant may not bond with his or her parent so it is critical for them to learn that they are safe in the world. Children need a consistent, warm, loving, and predictable emotionally safe environment to develop into an adult with healthy boundaries.
Many people today live in a broken or dysfunctional family and learn to communicate from this place of brokenness. As adults, by the grace of God, we have a choice to break free from toxic patterns of behavior that stem from our childhood and are passed down from generation to generation. Romans 12:2 says, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” My prayer for you is that you may be redeemed and transformed by the renewing of your mind in Christ Jesus.
“For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good. These, then, are the things you should teach. Encourage and rebuke with all authority. Do not let anyone despise you” (Titus 2:11-15. NIV).