I received a marketing card from a Washington D.C. hotel this week, “The Mayflower.” It’s a beautiful place where Jeff and I stayed several years ago to get in place for a book awards ceremony—a great memory.
And on the back of the card the words, “Return to the Nation’s Capital…” appeared and this recent job scenario went through for a position in the nation’s capital came to mind. After numerous repeat messages that made me think I was going to get the appointment, I did not even make the top five. I’ve written about this before, but have not shared about the spiritual plunge that I took afterwards. Previously, when God wanted me to make a directional change He spoke to me in unmistakable patterns, probably because I did not get the message the first time. This situation reminded me of the time I was called to seminary. There were so many confirmations that even my husband could not deny the call.
My faith crisis was not about not getting the job. It would require many sacrifices and a laying down of self that would be difficult. No, my troubled spirit was about not hearing God correctly. How would I ever know when the LORD is speaking to me after getting this wrong?
And that led to a questioning of who God is. Was this exercise part of a cruel joke? I didn’t have time for rabbit trails. Was it designed to make me feel unqualified, less than or disappointed? All of those thoughts came to me.
Ultimately, I had to return to the character of God as found in the Bible.
The Lord is good to all, And His tender mercies are over all His works (Psalm 145:9, NKJV).
You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you (Psalm 86:5, NIV)
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God (1 John 4:7, ESV).
This morning I was reading a devotional that said, “Praise God for Who He is—not the what.”
Returning to the truth about God’s attributes was a sharp turn from where my mind was headed, but I had to trust that the job situation had a purpose even though I am not seeing it now. I had to believe that the LORD is good and wants the best for me. I could not change my beliefs about God based on circumstances.
Perhaps you are going through something difficult, and because of it you are retreating from an intimate relationship with your heavenly Father. The enemy of your soul wants you to see the LORD in a dark light, rather than the glorious light of love that He is. Maybe you are starting to question God’s care for you. Come back to center. Study all the attributes of God in the Bible, and know that He is for you, not against you. He is love and He abounds in love for you.