Inside Out or Outside In by Catherine Weiskopf

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.  If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.  If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. (1 Corinthians 13:1-3)

You see a friend’s tag on the back of their shirt, the shirt seams run up the side, the color is faded. “Honey, your top is on inside out,” you warn her as she blushes.

Shirts, socks, pants, they should all be worn outside in, but how should your life be lived, outside in or inside out?

Before you answer, let me confess. I’ve been living my life outside in. This means I do the right things most of the time. I help a friend in need; I donate money to worthy causes; I take meals to people; I teach Sunday school; I help people in the neighborhood. I appear on the outside to be a good Christian woman.

But on the inside, it’s not pretty. Jealousy often grabs me and won’t let go for days. I have trouble forgetting the simplest of slights by a friend. When someone wrongs my child I could carry around the thoughts of revenge for years. Interrupt me when I’m on an idea and I’ll ignore you, I promise.

I think, though I hate to admit it, I have something in common with the most dreaded and shunned people in the Bible: the Pharisees.

The Pharisees were constantly raked over the coals by Jesus. They are also our examples of how to live outside in. They knew all the rules; they spent their lives studying them; they had a list of “shoulds” even longer than mine.  But what did Jesus say about their hearts? Matthew 15:8 says: These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.

So how did I get here in their prickly company?

By worrying more about the state of my image than the state of my heart.

By paying more attention to my “shoulds” than the heart of Jesus.

So no charity points for the time I cooked a meal for my neighbors but resented it the whole time. And the time I took all my son’s friends to youth group but fumed the whole time was a loss. God doesn’t keep track of good deeds. There is not a brownie point counter in heaven, but God is carefully watching and working on our hearts—mine especially.

Dear God, Help me to live inside out. Give me your love for people so that my reasons for helping flows from love.