Surrendering the Keys to Your Heart

A University of California/Davis study says there may be something to the idea that two people’s hearts are connected when they fall in love. Scientists found that a couple’s breathing patterns and heart rates match up after sitting close to each other. They didn’t even have to be holding hands or talking for this to happen.

However, while hearts can be connected, they can also be broken, closed, hardened and pierced.

When my father died two months before I was born, it took five decades to realize I locked away a piece of my heart at that moment. It was the part of my heart that trusted people and God, and led to a lifetime fear of abandonment and rejection. If I cared too much for another person, God might take them away just like he did my father.

I unbolted the door a few times and allowed myself to love someone else deeply, and there were cases of rejection and abandonment. You might be able to relate. An angry word from another relative, a boyfriend breakup or a friend betrayal all built barriers and placed combination locks on my heart. After failed experimentation with love, there were so many padlocks on my heart that no one could break through and it affected my relationship with God. I could not trust him totally because I couldn’t bear it if my Father in Heaven, my Abba Daddy, let me down.

Have you placed padlocks on your heart?

The heart is a curious thing. God wants us to love him with ALL our heart. In Deuteronomy 6:5, it reminds us to “Love the Lord my God with all our heart and with all our soul and with all our strength.”  While we may want to love God with all our hearts, we often have a blocked artery preventing the flow of love to God or anyone else.

Is a portion of your heart sealed away so no one can get to it? Do you want to heal?

John Eldridge, in his book, Waking the Dead, talks about the heart, and he believes we have an enemy, Satan, who attacks us in the heart. He says, “For if he can disable or deaden your heart, then he has effectively foiled the plan of God, which was to create a world where love reigns. By taking out your heart, the enemy takes out you, and you are essential to the story.”

It’s time to fight for our hearts but first we must address our heart issues.

Issue #1: Busyness. Have you filled your life with busyness so you don’t have to feel what’s in your heart?

So you won’t experience heart pain?

So the wound in your heart won’t be exposed?

I am guilty of filling my life with a long to-do list because when I slow down and have those quiet times of reflection, I have to deal with the pain inside. I had a busy television career, I was busy with kids and their activities, busy with another public relations career, seminary, ministry work, busy, busy busy….

I did not have time, nor did I want to deal with the past that still haunted me, but as the kids got older and my life slowed down, my heart issues created a roadblock I needed to address because I reached a plateau in my spiritual journey.

I wanted to have a heart like God’s but what does that look like?

What does God desire from a heart totally devoted to him?

How do we surrender the keys to all those padlocks on our hearts?

The author of the Psalms, David, was described as a man after God’s own heart, so it is a good place to continue our heart surgery.

Issue #2 Insecurity. When our heart is fully open to God, he provides the security we need.

Have the wounds in your heart created insecurity? Do you believe you are the only one responsible for your security? So much so that you don’t allow yourself to trust God or anyone else?

In Psalm 7:9-10, David says, “Oh righteous God, who searches minds and hearts, bring to an end the violence of the wicked and make the righteous secure. My shield is God Most High, who saves the upright in heart.”

Are you afraid of being alone? Fearful of friends or family members abandoning you? God promises he will provide you all the security you need. In Deuteronomy 31:6 it promises, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Issue #3 Unmet Desires. God promises to give you the desires of your heart.

Psalm 37:4: “Trust in the Lord and do good, dwell in the Land and enjoy safe pasture. Take delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

Before I ever studied the Psalms, this particular message played repeatedly. It was the holy echo in the valley. God wants us to trust that he knows what is best for us. He wants to give us the desires of our heart, but there is that one little word again many of us struggle with….”trust.”

If you are walking daily with the Lord and your life is centered around Him, you have to trust that he is for you, not against you, and that he wants to give you the desires of your heart. Is there a repeat message he’s given you? Do you believe it? Or are you like me, who struggles with the prospect of anything good laid out for your future. You believe it, with conditions. You worry that if you allow your whole heart to believe, you will only be disappointed?

Sometimes we don’t trust God to give us the desires of our heart because there is a waiting period before it becomes a reality. He may even let the dream die before he brings it back to life. Sacred Echo author Margaret Feinberg says, “The worst part about in-between isn’t the uncertainty, discouragement, or frustration, but that sometimes we think God likes it when we’re there.”

 What dream has God given you? It’s time to stand on faith and trust him.

Issue #4 A Broken Heart. Even when your heart is broken, God is with you.

“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18).

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3).

When and where has your heart been broken? Friends and lovers can shatter our hearts, family members know right where to get us—people we help can turn on us.

But if God heals the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit, why not allow yourself to be vulnerable again? Yes, you might get hurt again, but God will be there with you if it happens.

Don’t you know that Jesus’ heart was broken when the small group he spent three years with scattered at his arrest? They bunked together; shared meals. They were privy to the many miracles he performed. He even washed their stinky feet, but they abandoned him. During his greatest trial, one of his closest friends, Peter, even denied knowing him three times. At that point, who did Jesus have to heal his broken heart?

His Father in Heaven.

And because Jesus’ Father in Heaven healed his broken heart, he was able to forgive and love those who wounded him, even the ones who sent him to his death. And our Father in Heaven heals our hearts as well.

Have you asked God to mend your broken heart? Have you given him the keys to all those padlocks on your heart?

The heart damage may have happened a long time ago and like me, you have may have heart so locked up it would take a bulldozer to get past the barriers.

God doesn’t only want to heal you, he desires for you to forgive the people who put the wounds there in the first place. Allow him to enter that tender place that has never had the balm of Gilead on it, God’s healing ointment. Surrender the keys to your heart and ask him to remove the pain.

Then, and only then, will you be able to release the flow of love from your heart to God and to his people.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

(LBW)