Boundaries

Do good to your servant according to your word, LORD. Teach me knowledge and good judgment, for I trust your commands. Psalms 119: 65-66 NIV

Sunday is a day of church for us. So recently when my fourteen year old son had a soccer game Sunday afternoon, and an opportunity to stay over night at a friend’s house Saturday night, there was an issue. His friend’s family was not going to church. Our solution was, that is fine, but you will need to go Sunday night at another church. (Our Methodist church has only Sunday morning options.)

For church that evening we chose a Catholic church in our area; the only one with a 5:30 p.m. mass option. The sermon, amazingly, was on boundaries. The priest spoke about drugs, and adultery, and cheating. The truth goes that once you say “yes” the first time, the second time becomes easier. Once you cheat on a test, the boundary has been moved and the second time your “no” switches to a “yes” much easier.

During the ride home in the car I approached the subject. “Ben, do you understand why I made you go to church?”

Silence.  Typical of a teenager getting ready for a lecture.

“If I allowed you to skip church for any reason then skipping church would become easier to do and pretty soon you wouldn’t be going to church.”

He understood, though the relaxed ceremonial service made him groggy.

Images from my teenage years rolled in my head as I understood the implications of this lesson. I had really never thought of my boundaries before I was faced with a choice. I often chose wrong because of this. I had gotten in the car with a drunk driver and barely survived. I had tried drugs when pressured by a boyfriend and suffered for anxiety attacks for years as a result.

”Ben, what are your boundaries; what things will you simply not do?”

He had no answer immediately. But I ask him to give it some serious thought. The question I asked was, “What are your boundaries on going to church, sex, drugs, cheating, cussing, and pornography?”

I invite you also to chew on this question and answer it for yourself. What are your boundaries? Expand your list: what are your boundaries on sex, drugs, cheating, cussing, and pornography but also on gossiping, hating, judgment, and going to church? And finally, how do your boundaries line up with God’s?

Catherine Weiskopf

I welcome your #Boundaries tweets at @cweiskopf.