How to Have a Happy Marriage by Lane Jordan Burday

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered (I Peter 3:7).

I was reading different articles about marriages and what makes them happy and other marriages are not.. I pulled some of the ideas I thought would be relevant to you.

  1. They can speak their minds, honestly.

The happiest couples feel secure enough to be able to share their real thoughts and feelings without worrying they will upset their spouse. This means that each person in the relationship needs to be mature enough to be able to listen objectively if there is an issue or source of tension. And when there is good new—like a promotion at work—they are excited to share it with their spouse for they know they will be heard.

2. They go to a deeper level when they talk with each other.

Couples who talk only on a surface level will not be able to really understand or share themselves with their spouse. For some people, this may be hard but getting deep will bring the relationship to a whole new level.

3. They know that their spouse is to be trusted.

Trust is one of the most important aspects of a marriage. It means that when a husband says something you don’t understand, you know he isn’t against you. You are a team and whenever you aren’t together, you know your spouse is trustworthy.

4. They have different interests.

Many people have the belief that you must do everything with your spouse. But that will only smother you! When each person is allowed the freedom to pursue their interests and hobbies, they will flourish individually, and they and the marriage will grow. I know from personal experience that when we go different ways, it’s always so wonderful to be back home again together!

5. Couples speak with kindness to each other and are gentle.

How do we talk with strangers, friends, or neighbors? I know many of us grew up in homes where our parents were nicer to them than their own children. Don’t do that in your home and marriage. Speak in warm tones, find affectionate nicknames for each other, and never stop hugging, kissing, and other little displays of affection throughout the day. When we treat our spouses like this, we are giving love and honor to them.

6. They know how to fight well.

Yes, we all will inevitably snap at each other on occasion, or really get upset or disappointed with a decision that was made, etc. But a happy couple will take the time to come together and discuss it rationally. I’m so thankful that my husband, Scott, comes to me and says, “Let’s talk about it.” I know he really cares for me and wants us to be strong and united.

Unhappy couples may tend to insult their partner or bring up mistakes in the past which will never work. Sometimes, if a couple can’t get past the disagreement, they pray about it together.

7. They look to the future.

These couples’ mindset is to build each other up and build up the family so that the future will be strong. They build their marriage on the rock of Jesus, not on shifting sand. They are setting high expectations for the quality of the relationship and creating a safe place for each other.

8. They never forget to love each other.

Love is truly the binding ingredient in a happy marriage. And love, real love, comes from God which is why those who build their life together under God, each walking with God and then coming together to pray with each other, will have a healthy marriage. And never forget why you fell in love in the first place! Which is something to review, especially at anniversaries. Loving each other and never taking the other for granted is building on solid rock.

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins (I Peter 4:8).


Lane Jordan-Burday is the Pearls of Promise Ministries Prayer Co-Coordinator; POP Talk TV and Radio Co-Host and Writer. She is also is an award-winning and best-selling author of over ten adult and children’s books. She is a speaker with Stonecroft Ministries, seminar leader, professional life coach, Bible teacher, and artist. She served as the Associate Producer for the program In Touch with Dr. Charles Stanley. She prays for women to come to know the Lord is God!

Lane’s latest book, Evangeline, is a historical fiction based on the book of Esther. You can reach Lane at: Her website:

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